Welcome to my totally legitimate evil business website. Please ignore the scorch marks.
*Inators may attract secret agents. If you see a platypus wearing a fedora, no you didn’t.
Ah, my flat-tailed foe. Pull up a chair. No, not that one, that one has a spring that goes straight into — you know what, just stand. I want to tell you about a productivity method that has completely changed my approach to world domination logistics. It is called Kanban, and before you say anything […]
Three hours. That is how long it took me to explain to an artificial intelligence what Evil actually means. Not “harmful.” Not “illegal.” Evil. There is a difference, and it is important, and I have spent a not-insignificant portion of my morning making absolutely sure that Doof — my AI assistant, also named Doof, yes, […]
Ah, at last! BEHOLD — the Laundry-Done-Inator! My greatest achievement since the Chicken-Replace-Inator, and arguably more useful, though I stand by the chickens. You see, it all started on a dark and stormy Tuesday. I had left my lab coat in the wash — a critical error — and completely forgot about it for THREE […]
As any Evil Scientist will tell you, Inators do not pay for themselves. The parts alone for the Chicken Waterinator nearly wiped out the quarterly budget, and we do not even want to discuss what the Laundry-Done-Inator cost in sensor calibration alone. Clearly, a supplemental revenue stream was required. The solution? A booth at the […]