The Cable Organizatorinator

Ah, my semi-aquatic arch-rival! Pull up a chair — actually, do not pull up a chair, I only have the one and I need it — but DO stop what you are doing, because I have just solved one of the greatest problems facing Evil Scientists today.

Cables.

Specifically: the problem of owning seventeen of the same cable without knowing it, and then going to the store to buy another one, and coming home to discover you now own eighteen of that cable, none of which are the one you actually needed.

It is a tale as old as time. A tragedy, really. My mother never organized her cables either, but that is a story for another Inator.

BEHOLD: The Cable Organizatorinator!

Yes. YES. Drink it in.

Each cable — HDMI, USB, power, audio, that weird trapezoidal one I have never identified but refuse to throw away — now lives in its own clearly labeled compartment. No more tangled masses. No more mystery bundles pulled from a drawer like some kind of awful electronic spaghetti. No more purchasing duplicates in a moment of organizational weakness.

I know what I have. I know where it is. I am, for the first time in my career as an Evil Scientist, organized.

It is a little unsettling, honestly.

The One Small Problem

There is, I will admit, one slight issue.

One of the bins is labeled “Wireless.”

Now. I am aware of the inherent philosophical tension in labeling a bin “Wireless” inside an Inator specifically designed to store wires. I see it. I am not oblivious. But here is the thing — I labeled that bin several weeks ago, and I have absolutely no memory of what I was thinking, or what I intended to put in it, or whether “wireless” referred to a category of device, a type of adapter, or simply a moment of profound personal irony.

The bin is currently empty. Which somehow makes it worse.

I have considered relabeling it. But what if Past Doof had a reason? What if there is some critical wireless component I have not yet acquired, and Future Doof will need that empty bin and curse Present Doof for filling it with something sensible? I cannot risk it. The bin stays. The label stays. The mystery endures.

I really need to keep better notes when working on these projects.

But aside from that: pure, uncut, organizational Evil. You are welcome, Tri-State Area.

— Doof, Evil Scientist and Compulsive Cable Hoarder, Tri-State Area